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Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Quarter Century of Krueger: The Kills

As fans of slasher flicks, let's admit it: A big part of the appeal is watching people get killed. We can deny it/rationalize it all we want, but we all know slasher fans get a kick out of seeing what kinds of ways hapless teens are going to get bumped off by whatever maniac happens to be doing the bumping. And though the Nightmare on Elm Street movies are quite unique in the annals of the slasher subgenre (some would argue transcending it entirely), we're still fascinated with the kills. Especially since given Freddy's supernatural abilities, they're bound to be more interesting than in most other slasher films.

So let's break down Mr. Krueger's cinematic rapsheet once and for all, shall we? And do take note of the how the kills get more and more outlandish/ridiculous as the series itself takes a similar turn...

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Body count: 4
  • Tina Gray - Dragged up the wall and ceiling of her bedroom while being sliced open
  • Rod Lane - Strangled in his prison cell by his own bedsheets
  • Glen Lantz - Swallowed up and regurgitated by his bed
  • Marge Thompson - Burned alive by Freddy's flaming body

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
Body count: 5
  • Coach - Tied up and clawed in the gym shower
  • Grady - Impaled on the bedroom door by Freddy's glove
  • Random partygoers #1, 2 and 3: Skewered by Freddy at Lisa's pool party. These three are confirmed on screen, but there are possibly more...

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Body count: 6
  • Philip - Strung up by his tendons, and dropped from the top of the psychiatric hospital
  • Jennifer - Television sprouts Freddy head and arms... Freddy smashes her head into the screen ("Welcome to prime time, bitch!")
  • Taryn - Injected with a heroin overdose from Freddy's clawed hands ("What a rush!")
  • Will - Attacked by own wheelchair, then stabbed by Freddy
  • Lt. Thompson - Impaled on the tail fin of an old car by Skeleton Freddy
  • Nancy Thompson - Gored with glove by Freddy, whom she believes is the ghost of her dad

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) Body count: 6
  • Kincaid - Slaughtered in the abandoned car lot where Freddy is resurrected
  • Joey - Trapped inside his water bed
  • Kristen - Burned alive
  • Sheila - Death by asthmatic asphyxiation
  • Rick - Accidentally pulled into a dream by Alice and killed
  • Debbie - Transformed into a giant cockroach and squashed in a Roach Motel ("You can check in, but you can't check out!")

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989) Body count: 3
  • Dan - Attached to his motorcycle and made to smash into another vehicle
  • Greta - Gutted and forced to eat her own insides
  • Mark - Sucked into a comic-book world, where he is cut up like a paper doll

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) Body count: 3
  • Carlos - Brains melted when Freddy turns his hearing aid into a mega sound amplifier and tortures him with loud noises. What a bastard.
  • Spencer - Turned into a living video game character by Freddy, who kills him with Nintendo power glove ("Now I'm playing with power!")
  • John Doe - Impaled on a bed of spikes
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994) Body count: 1
  • Chase Porter - Falls asleep at the wheel and dies in car crash. Also, clawed be Freddy for good measure.

Freddy vs. Jason (2002) Bodu count: 1 (Jason hogs all the kills in this one...)
  • Mark - Face slashed and back burned
GRAND TOTAL: 29

Freddy cartoon by Montygog.

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For more NOES coverage, proceed to directly to Day of the Woman, where Vault associate/birthday girl BJ-C has named Heather "Nancy Thompson" Langenkamp as her Woman of the Week...

9 comments:

  1. Talk about a wet dream....

    best line ever.

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  2. Wow, only 29 huh? Pretty weak, Fred.

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  3. Yeah, I didn't realize what a slacker Freddy was... I think Jason beat that in F13 Parts 2 and 3 alone!

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  4. I didn't realize how low some of the body counts from these movies were, either.

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  5. But they were kids. Won't somebody think of the children!!??!!??

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  6. You forgot Julie the babysitter in New Nightmare. Freddy killed her in the hospital like Tina in part 1. Plus, would you count the 2 FX guys who were killed by the mechanical glove in the dream (their bodies were later discovered offscreen)?

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  7. That's right, the babysitter, good catch. I didn't include the FX guys because we're never sure if that was just Heather's dream.

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  8. Somehow in my memory the bodycount was way higher. Lol. There were eps of CSI which had more killings.
    And are more graphic.

    Unbelievable.

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