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Sunday, January 11, 2009

2009: The Year in Horror, Part 2

OK, I finally had the opportunity to sit down and put together the second and final part of the VoH's hotly anticipated 2009 horror preview. This time out, I'm taking a look mainly at those upcoming projects that do not yet have a hard and fast release date attached to them. Let's take a look:

...Of the Dead: For the sixth installment of George Romero's 40-year cinematic obsession with zombies, the lauded director decided give up even trying to come up with a clever name. I guess "Brunch of the Dead" just didn't cut it. Although his last two chapters have been met with mixed reactions from fans, I won't be missing this. Most likely direct-to-DVD.

Resident Evil 5: This is the video game series, not the movie series. Fans have been waiting on this one all through 2007, but it looks like it will finally reach U.S. shores this year. Right now, it's slated for 3/13.

Bloodrayne 3: Against all semblance of rational thinking, the infamous Uwe Boll plans to excrete this one upon the masses via a DVD release.

The dreaded Val Lewton remakes: A while back, RKO horrified legions of fans by announcing it had licensed the rights to remake its classic collection of Val Lewton-produced films from the 1940s. I'm talking Bedlam, The Body Snatcher, Isle of the Dead and I Walked with a Zombie. Possibly others.

Children of the Corn: A TV remake this time. Sounds like a Sci-Fi Original if ever there was one.

Dead of Night: Brandon "Superman" Routh plays monster hunter Dylan Dog, from the same Italian comic book series that inspired 1994's Cemetery Man.

Frankenweenie: A full 25 years later, Tim Burton returns to his first live action film, remaking it as a feature-length film. Expect this irresistible tale of a little boy who reanimates his dearly departed dog next December.

Giallo: Dario Argento returns to English-language film-making with this serial killer flick starring his daughter Asia and Oscar-winner Adrien Brody.

The Host 2: Even as talk of an American remake to the Korean original continues (I thought that was Cloverfield), a sequel to the giant monster favorite is in the works.

Hatchet 2: Color me completely apathetic, but for those who appreciated Adam Green's 2006 tribute to bad slasher flicks, it appears there's more to come.

I Spit on Your Grave: This time the remake mongers have gone too far. Mighty Jove, hurl thy thunderbolts upon the offenders!

Last House on the Left: In an effort to keep an open mind, I'm willing to entertain the notion that this might be good. The early trailer has generated some positive buzz, and I've loved Garret Dillahunt since his brilliant work on Deadwood.

Saw: The Game: Another long-awaited video game, this one hits on Halloween, just in time for the sixth installment in the movie series.

Scanners: For the first time, the remake train reaches Cronenberg's body of work (unless you count the Dead Zone TV series).

Stigmata 2: Winner of the "Sequel Absolutely No One Was Asking For" award.

The Tingler: I can only hope that this remake of the William Castle chiller also brings back the electric buzzers in the theater seats.

Wrong Turn 3: The 21st century take on the whole "backwoods cannibal psychos" subgenre continues, once again on DVD.

[REC] 2: In brazen defiance of the instant American remake that was churned out last year, Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza return for the sequel to their amazing Spanish-language original. Already wrapped, expect this one sooner rather than later.

Well, that's it for my little peek into the next 12 months. Definitely too many sequels and remakes than I care to see, but what else is new? On the bright side, we have projects from Romero, Argento, Balaguero & Plaza and Burton to look forward to.

Check here for Part 1 of my 2009 preview.


Alana Noel Voth said...


Oh. No. They are remaking I Spit on Your Grave? Seriously? Oh. No. Bummed beyond words at this point. :-(

B-Sol said...

Yeah...I warned you you'd jinx it!!!

Alana Noel Voth said...

Damn me.

Gestalt said...

The remake buzz lately is getting way out of hand. We need new fears. This is worse than the sequel buzz of the eighties.

Christopher Zenga said...

WHAT? pardon me? WHAT! They are not making an I Spit on your Grave remake! I own three copy's of this film VHS, DVD and just recently my wife bought me the millennium edition. And I have only been able to watch it once, barely. This film is brutal, A REMAKE! I'm not certain the ORIGINAL should have been made!

No studio in there right mind will allow a remake to come even close to the original, you know what we are going to get don't you?

"NOW PLAYING" Jessica Alba in.....I Spit on your Grave, watch Jessica portray a chic New York novelist who tries to find solitude in a rented cabin to work on her novel only to end up being gang raped in a forest and then face f*%$*d in the basement of her house!

PG-13 for some mild violence, nudity and sexual themes.

Really now, this is ridiculous!

Later days,
Christopher Zenga

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