It's pretty much a foregone conclusion now that Ghostbusters III is definitely going to happen. And the casting rumors have been flying fast and furious ever since news broke that the plot would revolve around the original boys in gray turning over the proton packs to a team of five newcomers.
Word on the street was that the Apatow players would be taking on the roles, meaning people like Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd. However, in an interview today with Ain't It Cool News, co-writer Egon Spengler himself, Mr. Harold Ramis, denied any and all casting rumors, saying, "No, none of that’s real. There will be young ghostbusters, but no specific casting is real."
With that mind, I thought I'd engage in a little mental masturbation and try and come up with my own ideal team of new ghostbusters--ruling out any of the Apatow crew or anyone else previously rumored. So here's who would be cleanin' up the town in Ghostbusters III if B-Sol had his way:
In my mind, the star of Wedding Crashers would be the perfect successor to the "Peter Venkman" archetype, in that he can play goofball, but also has that quirky leading man quality to him. Close your eyes, and you can totally picture him in the jumpsuit, can't you?
I've been touting this guy as one of the most brilliant comic minds today, an inheritor to the George Carlin throne, if you ask me. His short-lived HBO series Lucky Louie wasn't given the chance it deserved, but proved that he is as funny a comic actor as he is a standup comic.
The young upstart of the group, who manages to somehow combine complete ridiculousness with a certain vibe of weird coolness in a way that none of the original ghostbusters quite did. He's today's "it" comedian, and would bring mucho bankability to the 25-year-old franchise. Hopefully, he'd find himself on a haunted boat, as well.
And another very Jewish comic actor, in the grand tradition of the original lineup of clipped comedians. Goldberg would fit very nicely into the Ramis-esque brainy straight man role--and I'm not just saying that because we had lunch in the same Brooklyn deli the afternoon of my daughter's baby-naming luncheon.
In my estimation, the funniest damn comedian you've never heard of. And if you have, my apologies, you're a lot cooler than I gave you credit for. O'Neal brings a razor-sharp, infectious wit that would make him a whole lot more than "the token black ghostbuster".
That's five right there, but to address the suggestions made by Dan Akroyd that at least one of the new members would be female, I wracked my brain to select an additional member should they indeed choose to go that route....
I've caught a lot of heat in the past because for the most part, I don't often find female comedians funny. Boo, hisss, I know. I think comedy is much stronger in the male genome. But my ingrained chauvinism aside, I will say that the single funniest comic actress working today is Ms. Faris, who has the potential to be this generation's Lucille Ball.
So... anyone important listening out there? Let's make it happen, people!
"QUITE SIMPLY, THE BEST HORROR-THEMED BLOG ON THE NET." -- Joe Maddrey, Nightmares in Red White & Blue
**Find The Vault of Horror on Facebook and Twitter, or download the new mobile app!**
**Check out my other blogs, Standard of the Day, Proof of a Benevolent God and Lots of Pulp!**