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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Nightmare on Elm Street Remake Script Hits the Web! And It Ain't Pretty!

A mysterious spy with the droll pseudonym of "Rod Lane" has gotten his grubby little hands on a copy of the script for Platinum Dunes controversial remake of the 1984 Wes Craven classic, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Mr. "Lane's" review appeared yesterday on the fan site NightmareonElmStreetMovie.com, and I have to say, it isn't very encouraging.

You can check out the spoilerific review in its entirety here. But for the attention span-challenged, here's the essential breakdown:

  • The characters are apparently stereotypically shallow teenage movie cliches.
  • The movie is filled with lame, forced references to modern technology such as podcasts and blogging, smacking of out-of-touch screenwriters trying to connect with young viewers.
  • The Tina/Rod relationship, and their eventual fates, is basically retained, although their names are changed.
  • Nancy is now a loner goth chick.
  • The story now revolves around Nancy and her boyfriend's quest to find out who Freddy is, and how to stop him.
  • Along the way, there is a red herring subplot that suggests that Freddy may not be such a bad guy (a pointless endeavor, since we already know he is!!).
  • The script is extremely bleak in tone, lacking not only the infamous wisecracking of the later sequels, but even the dark humor of the original.
  • The Springwood parents' killing of Krueger is depicted as an accident.

The reviewer is far from impressed, and I must admit that his concerns give me pause as well. The main issue seems to be that the film is transformed needlessly into a mystery, with a pointless red herring subplot that only wastes time.

Thanks to Vault Dweller and fellow blogger Katiebabs for bringing this tidbit to my attention.

**UPDATE** Not long after posting this news, I received a message from Brad Miska of Bloody-Disgusting informing me that, thankfully, the script reviewed here is NOT the final one. In other words, changes have been made--and hopefully for the better!


KT Grant said...

Making Nancy goth? Bah.
Wonder if Johnny Deep will make a cameo? Looks like they have given his character more to do this time around.

B-Sol said...

I'm not even quite sure how similar he'll even be to the originally Johnny Depp character, since his name is now Quentin, and he's a podcaster. She also doesn't seem to be as involved with him as she was in the original.

Karl Hungus said...

Hmm, the idea of Haley as Freddy gave me hope, but this isn't sounding good at all.

Pax Romano said...

It will come out, it will make a gazillion during the opening weekend, a sequel may follow, but in a couple of years, it will be nothing but a post script in the annals of horror.

Nothing will ever come close to the original Nightmare on Elm Street, I mean, come on, Ronnie Blakely as Nancy's booze swilling mom is reason enough to venerate the original.

Garg Unzola said...

It was a nightmare from the outset.

KT Grant said...

No one can compare to Robert Englund as Freddy.

RayRay said...

This is why I detest unnecessary remakes.

Hollywood can't even do the right thing with a potential remake that could be good, like War of the Worlds. Wow, they effed that up like a red-headed step child.

And now this......

Tower Farm said...

This sounds hysterical! Podcasts! I will be laughing out loud in the theater. Remember when HALLOWEEN 8 made the same mistake and tried to be hip by introducing a mix of reality TV and the internet? What a disaster. It was great!


BJ Colangelo said...

This ruined my day...

B-Sol said...

Yep, that's the Vault of Horror, you're one-stop source for day-ruining news! :-)

John Sunseri said...

You want day-ruining news? How about Keanu Reeves signing up to do a remake of DR. JEKYLL AND MR HYDE?


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